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Why? Why? Why?

Late to the party, but it's not my fault. I didn't get to see Children of Earth until it was on BBCA, and after I did, I went a little crazy. I had to go back to Florida and stay with my mother for awhile, and she doesn't have any internet access and I couldn't get out a lot.

I'm still really, really, really upset. And angry. So angry.

I feel raped. Maybe it was a date rape, full of flirting and promises and even kisses, but when I saw what was happening, even in the first episode, and tried to get away, the bastard came after me and pushed me to the ground and forced himself on me.

The flirting and promises were all the interviews about how we'd love the Janto in the episodes. What fucking Janto? I feel like the whole thing was some Gwack-ho's fucking wet dream. What the hell was up with that? Why should Jack care about Gwen's ugly spawn? Why was he high-fiving her or comforting her? Why wasn't he spending every possible minute showing Ianto how much he loves him and making sure Gwen knew exactly how worthless she was?

The pictures? Those beautiful, beautiful pictues of Ianto and Jack, especially the one where Jack clings to Ianto as though he were the most precious thing on earth, the ones that were the slap in the face to every Gwack-ho who said that Jack was only shagging Ianto because he couldn't have Ianto and that Ianto was the clinging one in the relationship. I loved that picture so much, I made it my wall-paper. Now I can't look at it anymore. It makes me want to vomit, because we never saw that.

We saw Jack acting like Ianto was a piece of crap he couldn't wait to get off his show.

I loved that thing that Gareth said about "Jack and Ianto gagging for it." I thought that would be the hottest thing ever. But no. Nothing. Beans? WTF? That's when I really felt like I was gagging because I was being forced to "swallow" something that I couldn't handle.

Russel Davis did the impossible. He made me hate Jack. He made me hate Jack Harkness. It still hurts for me to type this. It feels like I was pushed down and forced to do the worst thing in the world, and the final fucking came when he didn't say "I love you?" How could he do that? JACK??????


Russel? Euros? John? Why?

How could John agree to play the scene that way? And then go to GWEN FOR COMFORT????

NO! I will never accept that. That's when I started hating Jack. That's when I knew it was true. He really does want Gwen. There will be GWACK! Russel wanted me to hate Jack, so that I'd love his precious Gwen. HAH! I will never love Gwen, and even if he shows them screweing, even if he has Jack say "I love you" to Gwen, I will never, ever, ever believe it.

I'm joining the saveiantojones campaign and only reading savecoffeeboy and antigwenallies because I can't stand to see any other Torchwood comms. There are people out there defending Russel Davis and his crap. People promoting Gwack. I only want to see Torchwood again and Ianto comes back and begs Ianto for forgiveness.

I don't care if it's logical. I want the show we were promised. I want to stop feeling like a victim.

I want to feel the love again, and I can't feel it until Ianto is back.



( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 8th, 2009 07:07 pm (UTC)
I'm actually offended by you comparing a TV SHOW to RAPE...that's offensive right there..one of these things is not like the other...not getting what you WANT from a TV show is NOTHING like being raped...and I actually liked the show and what's with the Gwen hate? You may hate her, but there was NO chemistry between her and Jack, her and Rhys? Yeah, a bucket load, but not with Jack...they're just friends, that's all. Man, you need to take a chill pill.
Aug. 8th, 2009 07:38 pm (UTC)
Comparing the death of a fictional character to rape... you really need help. Really.
Aug. 9th, 2009 09:13 pm (UTC)
Aug. 12th, 2009 02:46 pm (UTC)
While you were typing all that vile nonsense about rape, did the thought ever cross your mind that you had blown your disappointment at CoE out of all proportion? You seriously need to get some help.

Aug. 14th, 2009 08:07 am (UTC)
Oh no you did NOT.

You did NOT compare the death of a completely fictional character to the sexual and psychological attack and violation of a person's body. I loved Ianto. I sobbed when Ianto died. And because of the kind of TV watcher I am, I did NOT see it coming until it was already happening, and that made it worse.

I've also been raped. And trust me, little girl, losing a fictional character is NOTHING compared to what you'd be feeling if your date had really pushed you down and forced himself on you.

You know what you could've done? You could've stopped watching. You might not've WANTED to, but you could've. Or you could've just realised that as much as it hurts, he's a FICTIONAL CHARACTER.

You have some fucking NERVE to compare this temporary hurt that you'll get over in a few months to the LIFE-CHANGING HORRIFYING TRAUMA that REAL PEOPLE have experienced. I'm literally feeling like I might heave up, I'm so disgusted with this comparison.

Nothing is like rape except rape. Comparing anything else to it, especially something so INCONSEQUENTIAL, in the scheme of things, as the death of a TELEVISION CHARACTER? That just makes light of the real trauma, sometimes debilitating, that real people face EVERY DAY.

Statistically, you know personally AT LEAST one person who has been raped. You're probably CLOSE to at least one person who's been raped, even if you don't know it. And I hope to god they can't see this asinine and demeaning comparison, because I can't imagine how much that would hurt them, to see you comparing your upset over the death of this character to the pain and trauma they suffered.

I honestly hope you never have to know first-hand why this comparison is so COMPLETELY disgusting and off-the-mark, because I wouldn't wish that on anyone. But take it from people who have been raped, or helped someone they love through recovering from rape: THIS IS WRONG. You are not a victim. You are a disappointed fan.
Aug. 14th, 2009 10:58 am (UTC)
No, honey. Let me tell you what it might have been like had you actually been raped. I'd post trigger warnings here, but you've already done a stellar job of triggering anyone reading this -- well done!

If the show had raped you, had honestly raped you, you wouldn't be able to watch much of anything. For a while, you might have trouble so much as being in the same room with a television, because there would always be that little nagging thought in the back of your head, What if it happens again?

You might spend months feeling like your victimhood was branded on you, like there was an invisible sign hanging around your neck letting all the world know that they could do this to you -- that anyone could do this to you and you couldn't stop them, like it was your own fault for breaking down, for not being able to make it stop.

You might be curled in a corner, desperately wanting someone to save you, even after the fact. At the same time, someone touching you would be the most horrible thing imaginable, because nothing and no one is safe, and you obviously have no control over what happens to you. If you did, you could've stopped it. That's what the irrational little voice in your head tells you, even when logically you know better.

There might just be a scream trapped in your throat, one that doesn't go away, one you're too terrified to let out, but you can feel it there, a silent pressure that just keeps building until it seems like that's all you are anymore... Pain and violation and screams that no one else can hear.

And eight years later, after you've had multiple relationships, after you've long since learned to leave the house on your own, to stop seeing everyone and everything as a potential attacker, even then, sometimes, when you're engaging in happy, fun, consensual sex, there might be a moment when the angle's wrong or the penetration's a bit too rough, and suddenly you're back there again, and you can't seem to separate what happened then from what's happening now. Maybe you'll freeze, maybe you'll shove them off you, maybe you'll just gasp and moan and fake an orgasm because it's not their fault and you think that what you want doesn't matter so much... And hey, if you fake it, they won't have their feelings hurt, and it'll be over faster, because they won't feel obligated to get you off.

And when it's over, you might hate yourself all over again, because it's been years and this should be out of your head by now, and there's obviously something wrong with you for not just getting over it.

And there might always, always be part of you that would wonder if it was your fault, even when you know better.

Or at least, that was how it was for me, and I wasn't raped by a fucking TV show.

And, before you dismiss my opinions as those of an offended Gwen fan -- I ship Jack/Ianto. I spent two days barely eating or sleeping after Ianto died. I can understand that it hurts, a deep, aching soul-hurt, because Ianto Jones was a wonderful, brilliant character who died in a horrible way, and it was so very, very easy to care about him.

I also happen to think if you seriously mean the comparison to rape, you are batshit insane, and I'll wholeheartedly agree with everyone here who's said you need some serious professional help.

It's people like you who make me ashamed to admit to having been broken up about Ianto's death, to having taken it as badly as I did and still caring about the show -- because Torchwood is not and never has been the Janto Show. It's Torchwood. It's about the team. And RTD has already shown us more than once that in Torchwood, people die, often stupidly and senselessly.

You have a right to your pain. And if you post that pain publicly on the internet, people have a right to call you on your offensive comparisons and apparent disconnect from reality.

In short: Either grow the fuck up or get some therapy. Because honestly, if you are seriously that traumatized by the show, you need therapy, and I say that with no malice whatsoever, but rather an honest concern for your mental state if fictional characters can destroy it so completely.
Aug. 16th, 2009 07:00 pm (UTC)
I'm sure you'll be absolutely thrilled when Jack comes back to Earth in S4 and says he specifically came back for Gwen, and they spend 12 episodes making goo-goo eyes at eachother before declaring their love for each other in the season finale with no mention of Ianto whatsoever.

Because if you really cared about JANTO, if you were truly hurt by what happned, if you really suffered, then you'd never say such crap to me and you might understand just how much I'm suffering.

If they hadn't lied. If they hadn't shown us beautiful pictures and promised us that Jack and Ianto would be gagging for it and then given us Ianto dying and Jack reaching out to that fucking whore GWEN (BLECH!) for comfort then maybe it would just be another bad tv show. But this was a completely evil betrayal of everything we were promised.

When it feels like a violation of heart, body and soul, how would you describe it?

Enjoy your GWACK, you stupid, insensitive twat. If you don't agree that this is the brutal destruction of the greatesdt pairing on TV, then you deserve it. (And then maybe then you'll understand.)

Aug. 16th, 2009 08:25 pm (UTC)
Then, obviously, by your standards, I really don't care about "Janto".

And seeing as how your standards involve offensive and, yes, insensitive comparisons to a traumatic event which I very much doubt you've ever had to experience in real life, I'm perfectly okay with that.

Here, let me turn that around on you: if you'd really been raped, you would never dare to make that comparison.

But then, at this point, I'm pretty sure you're a troll, and this entire journal is an elaborate parody of fandom. If that's the case, again, well done!

Because, honestly, assuming you're a troll is probably the least offensive thing I could think about you at this point, and I'm feeling generous.
Aug. 16th, 2009 10:57 pm (UTC)
If you genuinely believe you have been lied to by the BBC, you should take it up with Ofcom who take a very dim view of such conduct. However, I suspect you won't get very far with Ofcom because your entire complaint is based on YOUR interpretation of a few publicity shots.

The crap about 'rape' is just sick. You should probably refrain from making wild accusations of metaphorical sexual assault in your letter to Ofcom.
Aug. 17th, 2009 01:00 am (UTC)
...did you read what trollopfop wrote? I mean, at ALL? In case you didn't, which seems to be the case, it does not say ANYTHING about the author shipping Jack and Gwen. It is not arguing with you about the show itself WHATSOEVER. It relates /why/, exactly, YOU DO NOT FEEL RAPED. YOU MAY THINK YOU DO, BUT YOU DO NOT.

Frankly, if that's all you have to say to a post that made me /cry/, some bullshit about your TV show, maybe you should turn off the telly, walk outside, and get a life. While you're at it, maybe you should also take a good look inside and ask yourself exactly /why/ you're so insensitive to actual people.

It's real live people who need your determination, passion, and unwillingness to back down. Fight for them, not for "Janto", who, frankly, has no use for it.
Aug. 17th, 2009 08:07 pm (UTC)
you stupid, insensitive twat

Are you the pot, or the kettle?
Aug. 14th, 2009 02:44 pm (UTC)
This is some special kind of batshit right here.

Lady, you fuckin' crazy.
Aug. 16th, 2009 10:00 pm (UTC)
Bloody Hell, woman! You need serious help!
Aug. 17th, 2009 05:24 pm (UTC)
You really don't have a clue, do you? Not a fucking clue.

The only way you will understand how wrong you are is if you do get raped for real. And that is something I don't wish on my worst enemy.

You are not a victim. You just didn't like where the creators of a show took some characters. It's not rape. And you were not promised anything.
Aug. 19th, 2009 10:56 pm (UTC)
I'll indulge you for a moment and go along with the sick comparisons to rape. With that in mind, aren't you trying to force yourself upon Russell T. Davies after he has repeatedly said NO?

How d'ya like dem apples, you RAPIST?
Sep. 14th, 2009 07:26 pm (UTC)
I support you in your anti-CoE rant. I feel the same way as you many promises but nothing delivered. It was the setup for Gwenwood. The dictionary defines rape as "to seize and take away by force" the synonym suggested was despoil "to strip of belongings, possessions or value' So yes this word does fit as to me we were stripped of something of value...I know this is months away but I have only finished watching myself. I found your LJ through twstoryfinder as someone was looking for some fic of yours. Anyhoo...I know flameage may come but it's your LJ...if they don't want to read they can just switch away or tune out. Hope to see you on AGA...later
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )